Wednesday, March 23, 2011

what bothers me is the overbearing experience of leaving for somewhere new and being rewarded. You see for me it wasn't. Maybe I have always been a homebody.

To 'just be single' has been alright but isn't a preference. I don't enjoy it. I guess that's why I was ok with having a child. But then again I ruined your life agreeing to that child. I literally tatoo'd your face like this movie says.

You are fucked man. I love you and I'm here to help you do the right thing more than what you want. It's true that travel would be awesome and nice. You could go out into the world and enjoy many things and many friends and such, maybe see what a shit world there is out there or find a place in it but no matter what our baby is here dealing with the choices that we make together and I can't help but give that precedence over my own desires.

She needs her mother and her father. This is the crucial beginning of her life and she soaks in everything. What is happening when she hits school? suddenly the middle of the day is free, just enough time for you to run off and decide again that this life isn't enough and evaporate into some fantasy land somewhere else. Leaving me behind.

We

and I mean we, need to save up and travel. Basically what I hear and always will here is that I am not good enough the way I am

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