Friday, May 27, 2011

Latina Incoming

you had me devoid of so many things that I had now. I was starved for money starved for interactions and media. My addictions were impossible to sate, my computer system not even allowed on campus.

I am addicted to addictions of interaction. I am a media collector and I live in the fantasy of my mind. I lost focus and lost reason and went far away from myself trying to 'grow up' and live the american dream with something far from who I would say that I am.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Coming with the good news

So how was your rapture?
I had a nightmare, woke up with dry eyes.

Other than that it was fine.

So true love from the past just returned to my awareness. She uh, spent alot of time with me years ago in a place far away from here and I mean she's still far away [like 4 hours north of me currently i think.. maybe 3 1/2 but ah] but I happen to be moving that direction within the next 3 years. Sooner if things hit off in a big way.

How can they go wrong? the normal 999 ways that come with rushing things and foolish choices based on chemical/emotional horseshit instead of taking our time and doing a bit of preplanning and patience and understanding.

Maybe some luck right? So wish me luck. Love makes a diety of me, a fucking full blown transcendant god of peaceful composition. Brings on a calm dominance and the essence of a paragon

Have a good day, and thank you for all your kind words....

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Needs a paintjob. 1980 4 Cyl. Takes me everywhere I need to go and looks horrible.
It's cheep!

Ill get the ford up sooner or later =|

Thursday, May 19, 2011

one of the few paradox people in my life has just offered me a moment of retreat. right on time, and I'll dream up a million possible moments that may never happen. But the dream will be beautiful, and it will carry me through the end of the week, and if I hold on to it strong enough, all the way till those moments begin

Monday, May 16, 2011

'80 toyota pickup > '92 Ford F150 XLT Lariat

I cannot afford to accept this awesome gift that you have given me. I go back and forth saying it is ok but when I do the hard math it really isn't ok. I am in over my head and have sacrificed a good share of this month's earnings to the truck, mostly in fuel.

So I am asking for it back without hard feelings. I am planning on taking it back as soon as possible, after I clean it up and have it looked over by the mechanic to see if it needs over 600 dollars worth of major engine work.

Either way I don't want the truck. I don't want it because it is too much, it is too much for both of us but it is certainly too much for me to drive from winlock!

I also want you to take some time out and think seriously about taking on any other type of job. This company doesn't deserve you, I have come to respect you and know that you have far too many skills to waste them working here for such limited pay. You are self inflicting bullshit on your life that you don't need. Get out and work somewhere better, You owe it to your woman, the only person that I have met that honestly deserves you. Your friends don't, your family doesn't, I don't. Not really.

I am giving you too much credit, you aren't perfect. You blow money on garbage all the time and you don't really clean up anything in your house. Its all fine, I feel potential in you like everyone else does. It is hard to step up, but this is a single lifetime that you are living, this is the story you are creating that will be recorded for all time in history. It isn't worth anything much to anyone in the long run, but it is yours, and you have to live it better than this.

I gotta do my part and stop suggesting negative actions, negative vices for you to consume before it is too late for us both.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

days since we have spoken

This is dumb. We are hardly even friends and have no physical connection at all. This faggot is limiting my experience of you as a music lover and creating drama over a situation that doesn't exist.

I'll be here when your drama ends, unless you stick with him forever and he's scared I'll steal you away...

If we do start this back up, something that hardly even has begun mind you... You better make it up to me, you better give me presents and be sweet and loving and try to make my whole world filled with the awesome you are.

You better strive to be a great friend, not just some girl I know that gets involved with me slightly and fails to keep up a connection.

I am deep. I don't do much shallow talk, I don't spend hours talking about nothing, not usually. That's all we have done, and tho I do enjoy sharin music and giving you my little poetic adoration, I would hate to think such nonsense is keepin this poor fuck from sleeping.

So don't bother sneaking me text. I'm not a dirty little secret, I am just a guy lookin to get away from the computer for something worthwhile, which at this time you are unable to do.

You are very polite, and in my opinion have done everything you could possibly do to be in the right. I can think of no moment that you took any action that could be considered 'cheating'

Honestly your best reason for keeping my presence away from him was simply to avoid this drama.

It is drama and I hate it. I don't hate you, I do hate the fact that something worthless and unfounded could stop us from giving eachother little friendly smiles.

GOOD LUCK I'll go find someone else to adore <3 You on a scale of 1 to 10

are a solid 8. I hope you never have to work hard at anything. May your personality and beauty carry you to the finest experiences this world can offer you.

Bless you child, and bless all of those that you touch with your presence