Monday, March 21, 2011

So I really just have been thinking all day about how we can be together again and how its really worth it for me. But it was always worth it for me and it is you that left so obviously this is a one sided conversation I have been having since you told me you were going to leave. Alot of things changed. Alot of things are still the same, we have problems that will not go away. You smoke pot and I don't. You need to go out on the weekends and be in the city, I don't, but I WILL GO TO THE CITY WITH YOU when I am not at work, I suggest we get out of the house immediately! Chores and whatnot can wait and we need to enjoy free time when we can. YAY spontaniety.

Baby is still years off from school. You seem trapped until then most of the time, I figure it would do you alot of good to be here where you only need to clean cook and feed your house [which is large] till then, when the baby is in school, you have much more free time for yourself

If you even need it.

The essential thing you were missing was respect. You needed to feel valid and loved in my eyes. Adored. Something I couldn't do. This time and space has shown over time that true love does exist between us, that no matter how shiney a thing can be, it cannot be trusted as you can be trusted, thus I cannot give myself to anyone but you unless you betray me.

You were lawful, chicken. And by doing so lawful a parting only showed me that I was missing so many aspects of our love, I know you were content when we were alone, I know Toby only made everything worse and we overspent to such a point that I balled up. All of that still exists. We cannot be alone, we cannot afford it, but Casey works and so do I. We all have vehicles, well mine just blew up!