Monday, July 25, 2011

more to the angel/model/whatever

haha I feel a bit bad about posting to life synth more than I post to you. I can't get to you! I live 3 hours from you and work more than any man should, when I don't work I have my child and 3 hours in a car is a long ways. Just like you this time in my life is really all about where I am right now. God knows our interaction in person is fantastic and the more of it we get through life the better off we both will be. The more time we interact here online the more odd and awkward everything becomes so I have kind of let it die down. What is there to say? I have some great new music I have been listening to I could share with you, but it is mostly rock I don't think you would like. I could be wrong. I am finally clear of the biggest social rut I have ever experienced. I am not desperate for sex or a woman anymore as I have been since I was with Jade. It's nice. Work emotionally hurts me, financially it is fantastic. No one has heart for my family corp like I have at this time, they are brutally withholding raises bonuses and paid vacations. they have been for far too long. I got that new Game of Thrones book and I am devouring that. My social life is OK and totally platonic, my addictions all medium and not overwhelming.. My family loves to see me and I love to see them. My tickets are soon to be gone, all 3 of my cars are insured and legal, new car doesn't get the gas miles the salesman reported but amazingly matches the internet stats almost exactly IMAGINE THAT. Makes me mad, think he made like 2 grand or more off a single check my grandmother gave him. Baller of her to just be like, "get that one, I'll pay right now." Living examples of how I want to be at that age. I got to eliminate my tum and grow some pecks, for myself.. Kills me to think I want a bigger chest =) My cat suffers. I just don't give him enough attention, the dogs here fuck his whole macho cat thing up. It is gonna drive me out of this place and probably right into downtown Chehalis. Anything to further eliminate my bills and expenses. In a year or less Olympia and electronic music festivals of all kinds if I have the money! College students should be vibrant and invigorating, then the jolt into Bremerton will tear some tears out of my poor overstimulated eyes and I will fall into feeling as much compassion as I can for those poor ol folks with holes in the topmost portion of their long term investments. Hopefully I do well and have the power to travel. At that point the sky is the limit. Chile, Australia, New Zeland, Alaska, Russia, Europe.. Hopefully a new location each year if I can manage it. Try to get out and expand my wisdom experience and culture so I feel a bit closer to the planet. Putting it all in perspective, having clear goals that I believe will be a wholesome educational and thrilling adventure for my daughter should help me be more driven. Without her I might still be hopelessly lost and starving for romance, yet I am sure a woman will show up now that I 'don't need one' and set me into some sort of downward spiral, diving kamakazi into her reality, scaring her away and being pissed again. LET US HOPE NOT. TMI. I'm sure it is and if you didn't enjoy this sorry. I am a longtyping fuck

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