Thursday, September 15, 2011

Lost Toby..

I suppose it could never be long enough. Can't be happy for us if you aren't her friend, and if the enemy of my friend is my enemy..
I understand the underlying social stigma, I get the broken taboo. I simply disagree at this point
I get the knife and cut out the things that take from me, even less, take themselves away from me, for knowing this giver.

It's not a perfect world. Not my perfect world. That is where Jade and you both can be pleased that even if relationships between us 4 did not succeed, hope can arise.
Maybe too many bad feelings. Burn burned bridges for you and her. Maybe for both Jade and I.

"Get rid of Lord John and there will be consequences...."

Anyhow, we are lost, you and I. We were lost long ago when Matt came to me and said you were out. It crushed me, I couldn't bring myself to defend you, I was falling apart
grasping, lightly clutching at a very small and weak space and there was your presence but no financial ability to be had.

I couldn't push you away myself, what is that? Makes me sick. A sickness in me that clings to sickness in you.
I don't know you as well as I would like, never did, always had a pretty clear picture. Made it strong and sharp, reactive and potent.

How you see yourself, the world, all this.. I dunno man.
Is this really a bad thing for me?
Aren't you only losing a viable source of support love and entertainment?

Maybe for you it is worth it to cut me out.