Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I come accross only fragments of my memories with him. He was at first a man that was close enough to me that I did not faulter, I did not hesitate to let him close enough to put soap in my mouth, a lesson for speaking too loose that I never understood, not till my lips were sealed shut by many more instances and punishments tho more silent less abrupt less blatant and forward. Less agressive and loving. I would say that he loved me, I would say many of them loved me as much as they tolerated me in my way for being as odd as I was. I will never know. I only have my memories and they are clouded with my own imagination. What is not imagined is the last time that I saw him and the awkward way that I made everyone feel. They hardly worked, tho we took enough sillypsybin to work for us all and it was overly dissapointed and in such an odd space with his mother there in the home if I remember and we all just wandered around and didn't do anything productive. So many trips ended up that way. I would love to take him somewhere and drop some of this LSD. That would show him. That took me to another world where only the forehead of my lover was there and the white light I can never remember properly only the intricate web of things that surrounded me all the rainbow thoughts winding together and singing to me

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